Watch My Back
by Night N. Gail
Summary: And then it hit me. Clank had always trusted me. Even knowing what a rash-minded daredevil I was, he never hesitated to jump on my back and sit there quietly while I barreled into battle without thinking. Why in the world did he trust me so much? SPOILERS


**Author's Note:**

**First of all, I'm _very_ surprised that my first posted fanfic turned out to be Ratchet & Clank. o_0 I don't normally write short fics like this, especially for video games, but in the emotional wake left by the ending of "Tools of Destruction," I got a very strong urge to pen out my thoughts, and they all came pouring out in the form of this little oneshot. Basically, this is what I imagine went through Ratchet's head after Clank was taken. I know Ratchet never comes out and _says_ anything like this in the actual games, but you know how the saying goes: "A picture says a thousand words," and the look on Ratchet's face right after Clank disappeared said more than a thousand words to me— 1256, to be exact, and here they are. ^-^**

**UPDATED DISCLAIMER: When I first wrote this, I hadn't actually _played_ all the R&C games. I had played the first half of "Tools of Destruction" at someone's house and looked up the last few cutscenes on Youtube, which was enough to make me scamper off to ebay and buy the original "Ratchet & Clank," and I wrote this after finishing the first game. By now I have finished all the games and have revised this fic a little bit since, but I thought I should mention that this isn't the original version just for consistency's sake.**

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As I jumped out of my spaceship, I was painfully aware of the weight that was missing from my back. When I first met Clank it had been strange to feel his tiny body constantly shaking around as I ran, like a little metal backpack. I didn't even notice that I had gotten used to him being there... until now. Now he was gone, and as my back felt lighter, my heart felt heavier. I found myself remembering the time when Clank and I had first met— when we were just two strangers working together simply because circumstances hadn't given us any other option. Since then, everything had changed. Most of our adventures were thrust upon us through no choice of our own, but they had nonetheless fostered our friendship. When our missions had ended and catastrophe had been averted, we could have easily gone our separate ways. But we didn't. For some strange reason we stuck together— even though we were different as night and day, even though we no longer needed each other. Try as I might, I can't figure out why... Maybe we _did_ need each other. Maybe we stayed together because we were both alone in the universe and that was the one thing we had in common. Maybe we stayed with each other because neither of us had anywhere else to go.

All these whys and what-ifs could've tormented me for years without ever actually answering any of my questions, but there was one thing I knew for sure: Clank was my best friend, and he was missing. I was afraid for him. I was worried about him. I missed him. I actually _missed_ that paranoid, annoying little robot. Now nobody criticized my hastiness and constantly nagged me to think things through. Now there was no wet blanket to rain on my parade when I was trying to have some fun. Now I could do whatever I wanted in peace... and I hated it. I hated not having stick-in-the-mud Clank around. I wanted him back. And _that_ thought reminded me of when and why I had lost him.

It only took seconds for him to disappear, but it all started long before that— back at the beginning of our last adventure. Clank started seeing things— at least, that's what I _thought_ was happening at the time. He would go into a trance and start babbling nonsense about these little creatures called 'Zoni' that presumably only he could see. Of course, I didn't believe they were actually there. Why should I? Clank must've had his circuits crossed, I thought. I was planning on giving him a maintenance check as soon as I had time. But I was wrong. There _were_ little invisible aliens that were talking to Clank, and by the time they showed themselves to me it was too late. They took him without a fight, and there wasn't a thing I could do to stop them... Was that really true? Was there _nothing_ I could've done? Maybe if I'd listened to Clank when he told me about the Zoni I could've prevented this somehow. Why couldn't I just _trust_ him the way he always trusted me?

And then it hit me. Clank had _always_ trusted me. I had never even stopped to consider how much my best friend trusted me. Even knowing what a rash-minded daredevil I was, he never hesitated to jump on my back and sit there quietly while I barreled into battle without thinking. He didn't get angry at me after any of the countless times my recklessness had landed us in trouble. He went where I went, fought who I fought, helped me however he could, and never left my side. Why in the world did he trust me so much? Surely I hadn't done anything to deserve such devotion, especially after the way I treated him when his contact with the Zoni started to grate on my nerves.

It's not like I was actually _mad_ at him... It's just that— this was really important to me. I never knew my parents and most of my life I thought I was the last of my kind, so when I found out about the existence of a 'secret' that my people had left behind, of course I was excited! Of course I wanted to find it, hoping that it might help me learn something about my past. But when we found out what it was, Clank insisted that it was too dangerous to be kept around... and I got angry. He just gently said in that unwavering metallic voice of his, "Ratchet, please understand... The Dimensionator must be destroyed," and I snapped back at him, "Why? Because your imaginary friends told you so?" It was a cruel thing to say, I know, but I was so unstable then— so confused. I just wanted to know the truth, and I couldn't believe my best friend was asking me to give up my only chance of finding out what happened to my people and my family. Clank understood how I felt, and that was why he didn't argue and only stared sadly while I turned my attention to the screen in front of me.

I turned away from him. In that moment, in my anger, I turned my back on the only friend I had. I would regret that choice for the rest of my life. But there was no time for me to dwell on what I should've done differently. Right now, I had to focus on getting Clank _back_. Still, I couldn't help but wonder if he even _wanted_ to come back. Just before he disappeared, the Zoni said it was time for him to come with them, and he said in a trance-like voice, "Yes... time to come with you..." I wanted to assume that he was under some sort of spell, because he really didn't sound like himself, but maybe that was just wishful thinking. Maybe he really _did_ want to go with the Zoni... But if that were true, why would he say to me what he did right before it happened? He had smiled and comforted me after a very personal disappointment, and I was so sure at that moment that he was happy, that _I_ was happy, that things would go back to normal.

No. I couldn't believe that a robot as unwavering and good-natured as Clank would abandon me so indifferently. Either way, though, it didn't change what I was going to do. I was going to find him. I was going to scour the galaxy, from planet to space station to star, looking for him. Even if he _did_ leave me of his own free will, I had to make sure. Even if he _didn't_ ever want to see me again, I would hear it from his own mouth before I would accept it. I just wanted to see him one more time— to make sure he was okay and to let him know how much his friendship has meant to me. If our reunion turned out to be just another goodbye, then so be it... but if he had been captured, I would rescue him. It didn't matter how far I had to go or how hard I had to fight. I would protect the only one who cared about me in spite of all my faults, even if it cost me my life.

He watched my back all this time— now it was my turn to watch his.


End file.
